


Cold

by ReptileRuler



Series: PRaZ FebuWhump [10]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, Gen, Implied/Referenced Major Character Death, Loneliness, M/M, Post-Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus, Touch-Starved, implied PTSD, implied depression, solitude being deadly to irkens headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29331567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReptileRuler/pseuds/ReptileRuler
Summary: Zim is alone, and it hurts.Febuwhump 2021 DAY 10: “I’m sorry. I didn’t know”
Relationships: The Almighty Tallest & Zim, The Almighty Tallest/Zim
Series: PRaZ FebuWhump [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137614
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY alternate universe time. This is basically "If I could write slowburn this is what it would be about". 
> 
> Here's the pitch. The Massive breaks out of the Florpus, only for them to realize that 100 years has passed in reality while they were in there. The new Tallest exile Red and Purple, but let them keep the Massive as it is outdated by now anyway. They can't actually afford the fuel to steer it so they're just living alone on this huge-ass ship that's drifting aimlessly through space.  
> Zim has been a space-adventurer during that time. He was having a good time with Dib, but, Dib has passed away :(. So Zim was just being lonely in space when the Massive re-emerged, and after a few mishaps he ended up also living on the Massive. Cue, this one shot.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

The Massive was kept at a low temperature, even by Irken standards. They had to - it cost a fortune to run the ship, and they were only three people struggling to make ends meet, after all. However, these were still livable conditions. A little cool, but not supposed to be uncomfortable. He was in his own ship, parked in one of the docking bays of the Massive. They shared energy, and they had enough rooms for him to move into one instead of staying in his VOOT, but he preferred his own ship. His oldest companion.

Zim wrapped his arms around his form, as though he could keep the chill from entering his aching bones. It was easier to blame it on the physical cold rather than his… situation. 

It didn’t hurt so much nowadays. While the Massive lived up to its name and he barely saw the exiled Tallest some days, they still met up sometimes. They did the occasional freelance mission together. They went out for drinks when the ship drifted close enough to an inhabited planet. They shared meals with each other.

But the freezing ache in his body came from decades of solitude. Occasionally speaking to another Irken was a temporary band-aid slapped on a gushing flesh wound. 

The Massive was cold. He cursed the temperature, as though it would make him feel any better. All it did was make him aware of how his voice sounded in the empty cockpit of his own ship. The all too familiar echo against all too familiar walls. Disgusting. 

His intercom crackled to life, interrupting his brooding. 

“Dinner”, Red’s voice came through. Just one word, and then it was gone. Zim pushed himself out of his driver’s seat, the act of moving feeling like a herculean task in itself. He grimaced through a wave of headaches. 

The Tallest (no, just Red and Purple. They were not Tallest anymore) had changed too, Zim mused as he walked down the corridors. Purple didn’t want to be on the main deck anymore. Red hesitated before giving orders, as though he feared that they’d be followed. They said that they’d only been in the Florpus hole for a week, but clearly it was long enough to leave scars.

Voices escaped the private quarters of Red and Purple. Even hearing them in real life made some of the ache a bit more bearable. 

“Wow. You look worse than normal”, Purple pointed out when Zim entered. He frowned. The headache and the pain in his bones and joints were tiring, and today was especially bad. He felt lethargic and his skin felt slack and pale. He knew he didn't look ideal even when he wasn’t in pain, thanks to his one degenerated eyeball and the way his right antenna always twitched to make up for the lack of visual information.  


“Zim looks amazing”, he said. Secretly he thanked them for the invitation to have a meal with them. It was pathetic, and Dib would have scolded him for letting his old Tallest so close.

Dib was long gone. Zim had some basic survival instincts.

Red threw him an energy bar. It hit him in the forehead when he reacted too slowly. He grabbed it and sat down in the seat opposite to the two of them. 

“So, what have you been up to?” Red said. Things were still awkward between them. Their past still a sore spot, full of betrayal, anger and irritation, and their current truce new and strange territory. 

Zim shrugged. He bit into the energy bar, savoring its sweetness and energy. 

“I have been looking for a planet to get a new voice box for GIR”, he said, casually, “that is my SIR unit. Which you gifted me out of the trash-bin.”

Silence, for a bit. He hoped the reminder made them uncomfortable. Then,

“Shouldn’t you be looking for an eye replacement?” Red asked. 

“It’s no use”, Zim said, “no one would replace it for me, and-” and he thought he was dying, so what was the point of fixing one eye when he wouldn’t be around for too long?

“You’re not even trying?” Purple looked up from his own snacks, one antenna raised. Zim shrugged, about to answer, when another wave of pain coursed through his skull.

“Zim?”

He hunched over slightly, glaring at his fist. Soon, it would subside again. He simply had to ride it out.

“Zim? You okay?”

“Fine!” he spat as he folded over himself. Oh, it hurt so bad. All the time, he had to be achy and cold and alone! It was unfair!

He jumped when something touched his shoulder. Red had crouched down in front of him and fixed him with a deep frown.

“Are you hurt or something?” he asked, one hand grabbing Zim’s face and forcing him to look up. 

“I can handle myself”, he muttered as he willed himself not to lean into the touch. Warm sparks shot from where Red’s one palm was on his shoulder and the other one on his cheek. 

“Hm.”

Red moved, gripping his face with both hands and turning his head from side to side, looking him over. Zim squeaked. 

“No injuries as far as I can see. What’s wrong, then?”

“Let g-” Zim choked on his words, and realized in dawning terror that he was about to start crying. Fingers gripped his face tighter. It felt so good. Warm, safe, invigorating. He couldn’t take it. 

“Zim. What’s wrong?” Red said, commanding even though he hated to do that now. 

_ “Nothing is wrong!”  _ Zim wheezed through a sob, “it’s the stupid cold and the stupid solitude!”

“The- it’s not  _ that  _ cold”, Red leaned back, “Wait-”

Gears were turning in his head. Zim wanted to take the chance to wiggle out of his touch, but his body was betraying him. 

“How long had you been alone before us, anyway?” Purple asked. Zim realized that he’d been sitting quietly, staring at Zim with an uncomfortable expression.

“Forty years”, he heard himself mumble. 

Silence spread through the room. Zim didn’t look up. He’d forced down his crying, but now he was left with a bitter feeling, being reminded about his awful, pitiful life. 

“Forty years… and you’re still alive?” Purple asked, incredulous. 

“I am not going to simply curl up and die”, Zim glared, teeth bared, “I shall keep moving forward. Until the day this body gives up on me.”

It had been so long. He honestly did not know how much longer he had until that happened. 

“I just… it hurts…”

He looked down again, ashamed. Dib would have hated knowing that Zim was showing weakness to Red and Purple.

Red’s fingers tightened, his palms pressing into Zim’s cheeks. 

“What can we do?” he asked.

Zim recoiled slightly. He didn’t expect their help. Painfully aware that he’d scarred them with the Florpus, and that they had done unforgivable things to him. They were all just drifting through space, with only each other, but that didn’t mean that they had to  _ like it.  _

Zim’s pride had a mental fistfight against his survival instincts, and lost. 

He lifted a hand and placed it on top of Red’s, nuzzling into his mangled palm.

“This is nice”, Zim mumbled. 

“Okay”, Red said and stood. He sat down beside Zim and pulled him into his lap.

It was almost too much. Warmth, intense and beautiful, spread through his body, soothed his weary bones and lightened his migraine. He was overwhelmed, and thought he might cry some more. He swallowed thickly as he snaked his arms around Red’s waist.

“I’m sorry”, Red said, “I didn’t know. Zim, we don’t want you to  _ die.  _ You’re the only other Irken we can talk to.”

He nodded. That was what they were. Just three exiled Irkens. They didn’t have anyone else. They were forced into codependency, despite how they didn’t like each other or how none of them actually wanted this.

It was fine. 

“We could share a nest for a few nights”, Red continued, “we’ll go shopping for parts for your SIR together. Have like… a movie night? I don’t know. We’ll figure it out.” 

Zim nodded. He felt Purple sit down beside him, felt his skin buzz with energy when Purple’s palm touched the back of his head. 

It still hurt a little bit. A few touches or conversations were not going to magically fill all the needs he had neglected his body for so long, but it was a start. 

For the first time in decades, Zim didn’t feel like he was dying. 

**Author's Note:**

> There's going to be more installments for this AU! They're going to be non-linear and just the scenes I'm interested about. I'll be making a separate series for them as well. Thanks for reading!


End file.
